Also the number of days Jesus spent fasting in the wilderness where he was tempted by the devil. I can't imagine the hunger Jesus experienced during those days. I can't fathom being tempted so strongly. I know the past forty days have been long, frustrating, and filled with impatience and toe tapping, waiting for a simple approval notice so we can move on to the next step. And as I want Qiu Le as quickly as possible and I long to be his momma this side of the ocean with him, I have faith that God is still working. Always on time, even in the 40 days of waiting recently. I struggle to find joy in this journey, mostly because I'm constantly reminded of the void in my heart that a little boy half way around the world holds. I'm reminded of the possible lack of food, necessities and nurturing that he is missing out on. I'm reminded of the vulnerability of a voiceless child in an institute full of broken and hurt people. There are so many ---- thoughts that can consume my thinking. I try to give those that are out of my control to the God who was tempted but didn't sin, was hungry but filled himself with spiritual food.
Do I obsess? Absolutely. How do I cope? Well, USPS tracking app and cherry limeades I work as hard and quickly as I can on all things that I can control. I overnight documents, I plan ahead on what the next step is and try to be ready as soon as it's time to complete. I educate myself on how to save time and ultimately bring him home sooner. In my mind I do as much as I can as quickly as I can for my son so that one less day of waiting is one less day of being motherless and fatherless. And I try to find the good... The good that God has created in Qiu Le's life. Allowing God to take control really means that I am trusting Him with the details that I sometimes worry about. God is much bigger than my worry and ultimately Qiu Le belongs to Him. I choose to love because giving up and becoming frustrated doesn't get him here sooner. I am reminded that the children God has entrusted in me here still need me too. So I try to find a balance, and I try to find joy even though worry doesn't wander far away. It's the support and prayer of friends and family that keep all this in balance. Thank you for praying for us. Thank you for praying for our son!
The next step of this journey includes getting our I800A approval and other documents being authenticated at the state and federal level. This process should take about a week since we are overnighting documents at each step. Our documents (dossier) will then be sent to China and logged into the system! That's when our LOA (Letter of Acceptance) wait will start. The LOA wait is notorious for stressing out waiting mommas because there is no definitely timeline of waiting. Wait times range from 30-100 days.
I'll leave you with a couple more photos of our little guy. If you know our family, you know that he and Emma are going to keep our family laughing and entertained!
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